UP or UST?

Dear God,

So yea.  I've been stressing over it for this past few days.  When I was in my first year of high school, I've always dreamed of studying in UP, specifically in Diliman.  I never really dreamed of studying in UST.  I told myself back then that I would study there.  LOL.  Here is a list of what I wanted to take up.

1st year to 2nd year.  I wanted to be a Linguist cause I wanted to meet my J-artist crush.  HAHA.  I thought that if I became a linguist I could be the one in Music Station talking/translating to HeySayJump and other J-artist that I like  XD

3rd year.  I loved Math back then.  I think my lowest grade was 89?  So I decided that I wanted to take up Business Management cause I thought that it was as easy as solving a simple problem.

4th year.  In my summer review in Brain Train, I thought of myself as one of the best in English cause I frequently get the highest score in our seatworks  :)  So I wanted to take up Communication Arts.

I took the entrance exam in UP (UPCAT) last August I think?  It was really hard  -.-  I had given up all hope of ever studying there.  I thought that everything I've learned in Brain Train was put to waste.  I couldn't remember the things I learned there.  Especially the Science part   >.<

I was scheduled to take the entrance exam of UST (USTET) on November something.  But I was shocked that we had a game scheduled in Ayala the next day.  I thought that my parents wouldn't allow me to play cause they wanted me to study, but I promised them that when I get home I would put all my efforts in studying.  They agreed and I was so happy.  (I saw Lukas that day  :">  I didn't expect to see him)  I took the exam the next day in CA San Pablo.

Look at my skin.  Eww.  So tanned.

Oyea.  Here are my courses.

In UPD  1st choice Linguistics, 2nd choice Business Management.

In UPLB 1st choice Agri Business, 2nd choice Communication Arts

In UST, 1st choice Architecture, 2nd choice Business Economics (they didn't have business management)

The results for the USTET was released last February.  The USTET was released before the UPCAT.  At first, when I found out that only a few of my classmates passed, I got scared cause my course was a quota course, meaning they only take a limited number of students.  My classmate, who I heard wanted to take architecture since she was in first year, didn't qualify.  I got really scared cause I wasn't confident in my exam.  I didn't finish the first part.  I didn't manage to answer 12 items. So if you look at it this way, I only answered 48/60, and of course, minus the mistakes.  I wanted to see my USTET result so badly, so I asked my classmate if I could use her laptop.  When I saw the results I was so surprised to see...

I PASSED!  I PASSED BOTH of my courses there!  ^.^

I was so happy to see that I passed both.  I feel really proud of myself.  When I saw this I kinda wished that I wouldn't pass the UPCAT  :))  cause i knew that if I passed, I would have to pick ONE SCHOOL.  and I know it's so hard to choose cause UP is my dream school, but UST has my dream course. (drawing + Math = LOVE)  

So when the UPCAT results were up I was kinda sad not to see my name.  I'm so selfish.  So I decided not to fret about UP and just go to UST.  BUT THEN.  A letter from UP came to our school and I got a surprisingly high UPG.  WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME? ajujuju

The required grade to enter UP is 2.4.  I'm kinda disappointed that I didn't pass though.  It's SO CLOSE, yet so far.  LOL.  BUT, UPLB has a waitlist.  The required grade is 2.8.  When I saw my UPG I thought to myself that getting in UP isn't really that hard.  I can just go there then shift to another course or campus.  but bacause of the increasing accidents happening there, I decided to study in UST once and for all.  I took that as a sign to not study there.  

Thank you for the opportunities that you have given me.  Thank you also for teaching me to choose for what I really want/need.

Wishing is Believing

Dear God,

I still can't believe that this 4th quarter I'm a second honor  O.O  I really didn't expect it.  I thought I wouldn't be an honor anymore, or maybe just an achiever, cause my exams were so low.  I'm so happy cause even though I didn't really study, I made it!  I'm a second honor!  :D  It really is a happy feeling.  The feeling you get when you aimed to be something and tried to achieve it, and when you least expect it, you can already see it in you hands.  Thank you so much Lord.  I know that without Your guidance, I couldn't achieve this.  Without your help and support, I wouldn't even think that I can do it.  I feel so honored to be blessed with the intelligence you gave me.  I promise I won't use it for bad things.  I'm very sorry that I sometimes take things for granted and that I don't try my best.  I am very happy to be an honor, cause I know it makes my dad happy  :)

Wishing IS Believing.  cause if you don't believe that it will happen, you won't even try.  

Thank you and I love you  :*

Expectations

Dear God,

Sorry if I haven't been able to speak to you lately.  I want to thank you for showing me that I can achieve big things if I do my best.  I just feel a little bad cause even though I did something good, my parents don't even show a little interest in the subject.  I know that at times they show that they care and that they are really proud of me, but when I feel that I have achieved something really big, they just don't seem to care  :((   This morning I was already feeling bad cause of my English teacher.  She said that we got a low score in our project because of me.  She didn't even let me explain.  She just told me to stop making excuses and that it was MY FAULT.  I know it may be partly my fault, but I can't accept the fact that she got mad at me for something I didn't even know I was supposed to do.  Sure she can get mad at me for passing in late, but I don't think she has the right to not even let me explain.  I felt so bad I wanted to cry.  I tried to stop my tears cause I didn't want others to see.  I wanted to let my feelings out so I told my friend about it.  I felt a little bit better after that.  

I hate my exams.  I got a low score in Physics and English.  The score written on my test paper was 49/90.  I was so shocked.  When I rechecked I was kinda relieved cause I got a 69.  When I told my teacher that she made a mistake, that's when she started blaming me for "my" mistake (the project).  I really hate my tech score.  I was so proud that I got a perfect score then my teacher (again) calls me and tells me she made a mistake in checking my paper.  So my score now is only 58/60.  My Religion is also the same.  I got a 65 but because of incorrect checking, I got a 63  -.-  they make me expect so much, but I can't really blame them cause they are only human.

that's all.  Thank you for listening to my problems.  I just don't know who to talk to.  I feel that I can really express and share my feelings here.  I love you so.